My latest blog

Lost in Mandarin.

Being my own boss

I am now: the Mail room, HR, Accounting, Marketing, IT, IT Support, and Management. We'll see how this works out. One thing I'll definitely miss: Paid holiday.

Emotional closeness Part 2

Given the stats on my previous post, and taking into account that I've been here almost 6 years, this leaves a degradation of 90%, leaving my emotional closeness factor at 10%.

Now is that reality? I think so. At least from a personal perspective. Unfortunately, throughout life, friends come and go. Friends I had from my early childhood, to grade school, high school, and even college are no longer in my life. Fortunately enough, I still have friends, as early as my childhood, that I can count on my one hand, that are still in my life.

And when I mean "Friend" I don't mean "Friend" as "Facebook Friend." I mean a friend in its truest sense. Friends that I still keep in touch with, month to month and actually email and communicate with. Not friends where I post on their Facebook wall "Happy Birthday" once a year. I mean friends that I actually share a bit of my life with.

I think with my move here to London, its really shown me who these people really are. Sadly enough, a lot of them have dropped off. As they say, friendship is a two way street. Effort has to come on both sides. I can say I've emailed a few friends a few times, but to no response. (Maybe I should have used Facebook instead.) On the bright side, a handful have stayed in contact despite the distance and lack of "emotional closeness" and I'm very thankful for that.

I think with the age of "social networks" there has been a steep decline of "personal 1:1 communication" and its moved towards a more "egocentric" model. With Facebook and Twitter, people tend to "broadcast" how they are feeling and what they are doing rather than interacting on a personal level. Granted, this model works for some, but for me, I like the personal touch of emails back and forth with "status messages" longer than a Facebook Update or a Tweet. I like reading and asking on how things are going, rather than having "the whole world" read about it. I love video chatting and even using this magical thing called a "phone."

I guess its that bit of personal communication that would keep my "Emotional Closeness" factor from reaching 0%.

Emotional closeness

This article is very interesting:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/26/opinion/26dunbar.html

Especially this:

"Emotional closeness declines by around 15 percent a year in the absence of face-to-face contact, so that in five years someone can go from being an intimate acquaintance to the most distant outer layer of your 150 friends."

Officially a Permanent Resident

In less than a year I can apply for British Citizenship. Sweet.
But for now, I can come and go out of the UK without government restrictions and no longer require a work permit. Hard to believe 5 years flew by so fast.