Its no surprise that when it comes to the responsibility of being the "wingman," the chances of you hitting on the "hotter" girl is very slim. I mean, where in the history of the wingman support system has the "wingman" been left with the more beautiful of the two? Let's face it, it wasn't going to happen this time.
Not to say that the other "woman" was fat and ugly. She wasn't. Just old. And wrinkly. And drunk. And had yellow crooked teeth. Suffice to say, I was going to "wing" it and just enjoy the moment.
First off, my mate was right. They were Russian. I introduced myself, and well, I don't quite remember their Russian names because to be honest, it didn't matter.
Attempting at becoming the best wingman I could be, I tried to engage on a one-on-one conversation with this woman so that my mate can concentrate on the task at hand.
To start off, the woman was absolutely hammered. This made it quite easy. She started with a nice comment of asking me if I was Chinese. I can't tell you how annoying that was. Because even after I told her the first time what my ethnicity was, she kept asking me again and again. I guess that's what happens after a few glasses of wine.
She then proceeds to ask me what my astrological sign is. All of a sudden, her eyes light up. She suddenly claims she's a psychic!
She asks me about my history and why I'm in London. Then she reveals that my true roots are not here, and that I'm looking for deeper meaning while I'm living here. She tells me that I won't be satisfied while I live here until I find this out this deeper meaning!
I'm floored at this point. Now, that could be a "typical" response from a psychic, finding "deeper meaning in life" and all that, but man, she wasn't too far away from what I felt!
So as I proceed to talk to her, and she even tells me the year I was born! Now this was scary! (Well, maybe its because I told her my Chinese sign, but who knows.)
I was so shocked at this point and started to believe her and I wanted to know more!
Of course when I ask this, she gets belligerent! She starts cursing me out and calling me a "typical American!" She tells me she's already given me 10 quid's worth of her abilities!
What was I supposed to say at this point! The lady was obviously drunk, so I shrug it off.
So, as we continue to discuss some random topic, all of a sudden, she puts her hands around my neck and starts strangling me! She rings my neck and I laugh nervously in shock! I don't quite remember what we were talking about, but I think the violent drunk in her was in full force! I didn't know what the hell was going on.
I remove her hands from my neck and ask her what is wrong with her. At that point, I should have got up and left. But for some reason, I found it entertaining.
A few minutes pass and all of a sudden she gets serious. (Now my friend already warned me about this earlier when his "lady" went to the restroom) She takes both of my hands and tells me that there's only one reason why we're talking. At this point, I play ignorant. She asks me if I'll buy her more drinks. I pass. Then she then asks me...
"So, would you be interested in my services?" (No, not her psychic services)
I jump so quickly out of my chair, I can't even describe it. Services? Are you serious? UGGHHH!!!!! Gross!
As I try and get up and leave she tells me that I should have known this whole time, etc etc. Which frankly, I honestly didn't know! She was old and warn out like a dirty rag!
Suffice to say, my mate owes me big time. He did get the other woman's number.
Mission Accomplished on my part. The only downside was that I was strangled by an old, drunk, violent, Russian psychic prostitute with yellow crooked teeth.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
True Wingman
Summer has finally arrived in London. Well, at least for the long weekend. And what better way to enjoy the summer weekend than sitting outside some pub - drinking, and enjoying the sun.
We decide to stay local and enjoy the view of the river Thames. We find a bar along the riverside and take a table outside.
Typical of many single heterosexual males, myself included, my mate is constantly checking out women. He's always on the lookout, particularly of the eastern bloc type. Its especially funny when we're having a conversation, perhaps about the meaning of life, and all of a sudden he'll completely lose concentration and his eyes would wander off to the left or right. At that instant, I don't have to question what had just distracted him.
This is more of a problem if there is an attractive woman sitting nearby. Just like what I experienced this past weekend.
We're sitting enjoying the sun, multi-tasking between drinking our pints, bs'ing about some random topic, and of course, people watching.
Sure enough, two blonde women approach this fine establishment, taking a seat outside, nearby our table. Immediately I get commentary from my mate. Complimenting one of them and basically describing to me what kind of woman she is just by looking at her for the first 5 minutes.
As we continue to enjoy the sun, he keeps telling me that she keeps looking over. We'll talk about some random topic, and every 10 minutes he's obsessed with the fact that they keep exchanging glances. I'm facing the wrong direction so I move my chair strategically to confirm. As the afternoon moves on, I eventually confirm this myself. There were no doubt blatant eye contact and an exchange of smiles!
Sure enough, just like any "true wingman" I egg him on to go up to them and introduce himself. She's given him the obvious "green light" so how could he not. I had to encourage him because if he didn't take action, I'd hear it for the rest of the day on how he didn't do anything!
With the right amount of encouragement, I knew he was going to do it. After all, I've seen him in action before, and it was just a matter of time before he stood up and walked over...
And he did.
As he proceeded, I quickly looked away and hoped for the best. Sometimes I just can't stand to look when a mate gets rejected. I guess I could have accompanied him at first, but I told him to wave me over if he needed reinforcements.
Walking over like he did took a lot of cajones. Personally, I probably wouldn't have been able to do it. But he did. Sure enough, not even after 5 minutes, he waved me over.
I was called to perform my duties as wingman!
Little did I know what I was going to get myself into.
To be continued..
We decide to stay local and enjoy the view of the river Thames. We find a bar along the riverside and take a table outside.
Typical of many single heterosexual males, myself included, my mate is constantly checking out women. He's always on the lookout, particularly of the eastern bloc type. Its especially funny when we're having a conversation, perhaps about the meaning of life, and all of a sudden he'll completely lose concentration and his eyes would wander off to the left or right. At that instant, I don't have to question what had just distracted him.
This is more of a problem if there is an attractive woman sitting nearby. Just like what I experienced this past weekend.
We're sitting enjoying the sun, multi-tasking between drinking our pints, bs'ing about some random topic, and of course, people watching.
Sure enough, two blonde women approach this fine establishment, taking a seat outside, nearby our table. Immediately I get commentary from my mate. Complimenting one of them and basically describing to me what kind of woman she is just by looking at her for the first 5 minutes.
As we continue to enjoy the sun, he keeps telling me that she keeps looking over. We'll talk about some random topic, and every 10 minutes he's obsessed with the fact that they keep exchanging glances. I'm facing the wrong direction so I move my chair strategically to confirm. As the afternoon moves on, I eventually confirm this myself. There were no doubt blatant eye contact and an exchange of smiles!
Sure enough, just like any "true wingman" I egg him on to go up to them and introduce himself. She's given him the obvious "green light" so how could he not. I had to encourage him because if he didn't take action, I'd hear it for the rest of the day on how he didn't do anything!
With the right amount of encouragement, I knew he was going to do it. After all, I've seen him in action before, and it was just a matter of time before he stood up and walked over...
And he did.
As he proceeded, I quickly looked away and hoped for the best. Sometimes I just can't stand to look when a mate gets rejected. I guess I could have accompanied him at first, but I told him to wave me over if he needed reinforcements.
Walking over like he did took a lot of cajones. Personally, I probably wouldn't have been able to do it. But he did. Sure enough, not even after 5 minutes, he waved me over.
I was called to perform my duties as wingman!
Little did I know what I was going to get myself into.
To be continued..
Monday, August 20, 2007
Back in London
Back home safely.
The past 2 weeks went by so fast. As always, I wish I had more time to spend with friends and family. Apologies for those I didn't get a chance to see. Maybe next time in December!
I think this last trip is starting to make me realise what is important in my life. I think priorities in life change from time to time, and I think for me, a shift may happen sooner than later. Its harder and harder to leave Chicago each time I visit. I thought it would be more easier after each visit but it doesn't.
Coming back each time I see how things have changed. Each time I come back things are a little different. It could be a friend's new purchase of a home, a new relationship developing, or even as simple as the awning changing in my favourite tapas restaurant! When I leave for London for months at a time, its easy to think that things don't ever change. But they do. And its strange not to be part of it.
Overall, it was a very fun and hectic 2 weeks. It was nice to experience a bit of summer since it never arrived here in London. And most importantly, its was nice to spend time with friends and family.
The past 2 weeks went by so fast. As always, I wish I had more time to spend with friends and family. Apologies for those I didn't get a chance to see. Maybe next time in December!
I think this last trip is starting to make me realise what is important in my life. I think priorities in life change from time to time, and I think for me, a shift may happen sooner than later. Its harder and harder to leave Chicago each time I visit. I thought it would be more easier after each visit but it doesn't.
Coming back each time I see how things have changed. Each time I come back things are a little different. It could be a friend's new purchase of a home, a new relationship developing, or even as simple as the awning changing in my favourite tapas restaurant! When I leave for London for months at a time, its easy to think that things don't ever change. But they do. And its strange not to be part of it.
Overall, it was a very fun and hectic 2 weeks. It was nice to experience a bit of summer since it never arrived here in London. And most importantly, its was nice to spend time with friends and family.
Friday, August 10, 2007
California - Future home?
I've made the trip to California for my cousin's wedding. The wedding is near the Bay Area - Vallejo, California. I was quite excited to make the trip because I wanted to get a feel for the area since I am seriously considering it for my next "move."
I've told myself that if I ever leave London, I'd try living in the East Coast or make the drastic change to move to the West Coast, particularly the Bay Area.
Some of the things I've noticed so far include:
A good impression so far, though, its hard to compete against London.
I can't believe I'm saying that, but that's my initial thought. London is the launch pad to continental Europe. Its known for its strong presence in the financial industry. Granted, it may not contain the most friendliest of people, nor the best weather, but it has so much history and character.
A lot of people have been asking: So how much longer are you going to stay in London?
Right now, I've been saying a couple more years. But what's after that? I don't know. Go back to Chicago? I think I'd like to try out either the East or West Coast. So far, the "west side" is not bad. I just have to shave my head, bust out my baggy clothes, and embellish my language using the word "hella" from time to time.
I've told myself that if I ever leave London, I'd try living in the East Coast or make the drastic change to move to the West Coast, particularly the Bay Area.
Some of the things I've noticed so far include:
- Traffic - lots of it.
- Shaved heads - All the asian guys seem to have their head shaved here.
- Baggy Clothes - A fashion phase I went though during high school seems to have stood the test of time here. Again, its an asian thing again.
- Lots of Asians - Maybe its the area I'm in, but man there are a lot of Asians! Seems like the Philippines, but in America.
- Bouncers - At least in San Jose, are complete d!cks. More on that later.
- Weather - A little cooler than the valley and the rest of California, but no winter and lots of sun!
- People - Laid back and friendly.
- Language - "Hella" - When I use this word, I sound "hella" weird.
A good impression so far, though, its hard to compete against London.
I can't believe I'm saying that, but that's my initial thought. London is the launch pad to continental Europe. Its known for its strong presence in the financial industry. Granted, it may not contain the most friendliest of people, nor the best weather, but it has so much history and character.
A lot of people have been asking: So how much longer are you going to stay in London?
Right now, I've been saying a couple more years. But what's after that? I don't know. Go back to Chicago? I think I'd like to try out either the East or West Coast. So far, the "west side" is not bad. I just have to shave my head, bust out my baggy clothes, and embellish my language using the word "hella" from time to time.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Sweet Home Chicago
Its good to be home.
The weekend started off with a bang with my rare decision to go out straight away after arriving Friday night. I had this urge to go to Funky Buddha for some reason. I wanted to listen to some good hip hop and people watch. What better place to do so.
Funky Buddha, throughout all my experience in clubbing, has been the one consistent place that guarantees a good time and good hip hop. Would it be as good as I've remembered it?
Of course.
Its one of those clubs that stands the test of time. Its definitely has hit.. LEGEND... wait for it...and I hope you are not lactose intolerant... DARY! LEGENDARY status as far as the club scene goes!
We walk in and drop a name at the front door, hoping to get in for free. We were out of practice as we should have called ahead. Unfortunately our "hook up" did not ring a bell with the people working the door. We pay the $20 cover anyway and walk in.
As we enter, we are greeted by ol' school hip hop, just as I remember. I notice straight away the multicultural/diverse feel of the place. Wow, everyone isn't tall and white! (No offence to the scene in London, but this is what I'm use to.)
We order our drinks and enjoy the sounds of an ol' friend I invited to Battle of the DJ's 10 years ago, DJ Boy Wonder.
QTip, Boyz II Men, Notorious B.I.G., 2Pac, would fill the room just like I remembered in my early clubbin' days.
Going to a club in the west end back in London, I'd be king of the dance floor, or at least compete to be. But in Buddha, I was nothing but a peasant in a kingdom where most members had rhythm! I kept telling my sister..
"Wow, everyone can dance!"
As the night went on, our "hook up" turned up and treated us with drinks the rest of the night. It definitely helps if you work there! A few red bull and vodkas and a few tequila shots later, my jetlag and drunkenness were not a good combination!
All in all, a very memorable night as Funky Buddha had yet again proved that its a staple in the Chicago clubbing scene.
And what a perfect night to end it all but a stop to White Castle for sliders! Its what you crave!
The weekend started off with a bang with my rare decision to go out straight away after arriving Friday night. I had this urge to go to Funky Buddha for some reason. I wanted to listen to some good hip hop and people watch. What better place to do so.
Funky Buddha, throughout all my experience in clubbing, has been the one consistent place that guarantees a good time and good hip hop. Would it be as good as I've remembered it?
Of course.
Its one of those clubs that stands the test of time. Its definitely has hit.. LEGEND... wait for it...and I hope you are not lactose intolerant... DARY! LEGENDARY status as far as the club scene goes!
We walk in and drop a name at the front door, hoping to get in for free. We were out of practice as we should have called ahead. Unfortunately our "hook up" did not ring a bell with the people working the door. We pay the $20 cover anyway and walk in.
As we enter, we are greeted by ol' school hip hop, just as I remember. I notice straight away the multicultural/diverse feel of the place. Wow, everyone isn't tall and white! (No offence to the scene in London, but this is what I'm use to.)
We order our drinks and enjoy the sounds of an ol' friend I invited to Battle of the DJ's 10 years ago, DJ Boy Wonder.
QTip, Boyz II Men, Notorious B.I.G., 2Pac, would fill the room just like I remembered in my early clubbin' days.
Going to a club in the west end back in London, I'd be king of the dance floor, or at least compete to be. But in Buddha, I was nothing but a peasant in a kingdom where most members had rhythm! I kept telling my sister..
"Wow, everyone can dance!"
As the night went on, our "hook up" turned up and treated us with drinks the rest of the night. It definitely helps if you work there! A few red bull and vodkas and a few tequila shots later, my jetlag and drunkenness were not a good combination!
All in all, a very memorable night as Funky Buddha had yet again proved that its a staple in the Chicago clubbing scene.
And what a perfect night to end it all but a stop to White Castle for sliders! Its what you crave!
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