Thursday, May 11, 2006

Sliding Doors

It just amazes me sometimes on the impact of the decisions you make will completely change the rest of your life.

I think there are "critical forks in the road" in your life where your decision alters the experiences you will have.

Do we really have complete control? Or is there a predetermined plan for all of us?

I only ask this because I will always wonder... the other "What if.."

"What if I never made the move here and stayed in Chicago?"

I wonder how my life would have been..

I'll be quite honest, and I've expressed it before:

Initially, I didn't want to make the move.

Perhaps it was because I was scared? Maybe I was afraid of change?
But I wasn't completely 100% sure that it was the right decision.
I even had long conversations with some of you on what I should do...

But I gave it a chance. And to this day, I'm still giving it a chance.
With the decision I'll have no regrets and at least I know now how its like
living here instead of wondering how it would have been.

I can't say right now that moving here was the best decision of my life because
I honestly don't know that right now.

Maybe later in life I'll realize how great of a decision it was. But right now I can't say that. I guess I can say that it wasn't a bad decision.

Am I glad I moved?

Yes. I'm glad I did because I know I've done things I would have never experienced if I stayed in Chicago. Perhaps I'm changing as a person right now but I don't even know it. But making the right decision sometimes doesn't always lead to happiness.

I'm not saying I'm all depressed or anything, I'm just saying.. I know I can be happier. For some reason I notice this more than I ever did when I was in Chicago.

Maybe because I miss being comfortable around people I've known so long. Or in some cases, people I've just met on the first day..

Maybe its the weather.. maybe its the people.. maybe its just me and the stage
I am in with my life.. I don't know.

Sure, from a career mindset this is probably the best decision I've ever made.
But I guess sometimes, after a while, you realise all of a sudden what becomes important to you.

And I guess, for me, right now, there's a lot of social aspects about Chicago that I really miss.

The people, the weather, the food, the city itself. Perhaps I'm just really anxious because I'll be back in less than a month.. who knows!

But If I could experience the UK with any one of my loyal readers,
it would make a world of a difference.

Anybody wanna move? =)

But seriously, I'm not one to second guess my decisions, its just fun to ask "What if" once in a while, that's all.

I think it would be very interesting to see at this moment, what I would be up to right now, if I did decide to stay in Chicago, just like the movie Sliding Doors.

Yoga master
Still in yoga.. after 15 sessions I actually had a conversation with someone in the class.. but then again, maybe its because I went to the pub before yoga.. dangerous.


ct said...

Yeah! Can't wait to c'ya!

charlie said...

whas up brotha... got your call, missed picking it up by seconds... i'm on fucking mission in michigan, its raining and sucking, whatever man.

...i wish i was drunk dialing while walking home from a pub right now.